Waiting in Vain (7 days to go)

I have been stuck in bed for 4 days. I have only gotten up to go to the bathroom. I haven't seen the inside of my ref since Monday. I have been waiting for thursday next wk, 7 days from now, so that i can take another ultrasound and find out once and for all how the baby is. I am still spotting and i haven't been sleeping well. Today I woke up at 6am just like yesterday. Today i decided to not fight it and just go online and distract myself rather than hopelessly trying to fall asleep. The other days i slept the whole day and now i can't seem to get myself to rest. I am getting more and more impatient but also resigned. My emotions go from hot to cold. Im glad im on bed rest because i have been so cranky that its good i cannot be unleashed to other humans. Yesterday was not a good day, yesterday i found out that my plane ticket to europe had to be paid for or else my reservation was going to be cancelled. because of the fact that everything is so unsure we opted not to pay for it. So the trip is postponed indefinitely.

Today i am feeling positive. I think everything's going to be fine. I hope that i am not just fooling myself. I hope that the baby is fine and that he's slowly forming into an embryo and is sleeping soundly in my womb. I read online that at an early stage the embryo cannot be seen in an ultrasound. I think and hope that thats what happened to me. I am still pissed off at the doctors in Cardinal for making me worry so much. They kept talking above me and saying that there's no embryo. Why didnt they just explain that sometimes if its too early there really wont be one yet. Stupid doctors. I want to slam their faces on the machine. Yes, this is what i would call a good day. I actually went for days thinking that it could be an ectopic pregnancy until i read online that if it were an ectopic pregnancy the whole sac (the place where the baby lives) wouldnt be seen in the womb. But i saw it. I saw the gestational sac and the yolk sac, just no embryo. I felt like suchan idiot and i blame it on them. The 2 doctors there. No more ultrasounds in cardinal. They dont even let u have someone in with you. Next wk im going to medical city.

Just to explain, when pregnant, a gestational sac forms and that is the home of the fetus, Beside the fetus would be the yolk sac wc is its food. The fetus is 1st called an embryo bec it is still forming its brain, it will then be called a fetus when it forms its heart. This usually can be seen at around 6-8 wks. Next wk will be my 7th wk. Lets all cross our fingers and toes.