After being married for 1.5yrs I am now going to fight for the legalization of weed or divorce here in the country. I am being pushed to the brink of insanity by my alcoholic husband. Imagine getting home 3hrs later than the promised hour. Then having to pump for an hour because your breasts are so full of milk they hurt so much. It's being with someone inconsiderate of your feelings and thoughts. I never get to talk when i'm with him, its like being married to a stand up comedian. But no matter how funny the guy is, the jokes get old too. Especially if he stole them from you. I end up not wanting to talk to him but then he changes jobs and just turns into a sports commentator. Narrating and commenting on everything he sees, does and what not. That's when he's still sober. When he's drunk he turns into a 5yr old bumbling idiot who needs to be the center of attention. When he's drunk he turns into a reckless teenager with no self control whatsoever. He is the man of all ages below 20. Not a care in the world. He is his #1. Actually, his 1 and only.
It used to be better because Dr. Jekyll (thats when he's sober) was such a great person. So I only had to deal with Mr. Hyde a few times a week and only at night. But now due to the frequency of his drinking and maybe the total amount of alcohol and number of times he's changed into Mr. Hyde, the monster's annoying and bad qualities are seeping into the person.
I have been in this predicament for around 6years. It wouldn't be fair to say that nothing's changed for the better, because they have. Until they changed again for the worse. It isnt in the number of times he drinks in a week. Its not in the number of bottles he drinks in a night. Its how he handles his liquor and how he never knows when to stop. How he can't go home sober or just mildly drunk. So, this is the diary of the wife of an alcoholic, otherwise known as My own version of Hell.
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