So I spoke to my mother earlier. She was on her computer playing her games and we started talking about our family friend who got married last year. She showed me pictures of the wedding and their reception. We talk some more and I brought up the topic of Jong.
She asked me if we were still going out and I said yes. She starts shaking her head (while still playing the computer game ah). Bits and pieces of our dialogue is written below-- not necessarily verbatim yung ibang parts and not necessarily in order. Take note, there was no yelling at any point and no tears either.
Mom: Why are you still going out with him?
Nat: Because... things are good between us. We're happy together.
(Mom shakes her head again.)
Mom: He is an asshole... he's so full of himself.
Nat: HE IS NOT.
Mom: He is the type of person who feels na when he's right, he has to show that he is right even when it is not appropriate. That he can do what he wants because he feels that he is right. He is just very good at making ligaw. He treats you like a queen and makes you feel so special. And I'm scared of guys like that.
I just don't know why you cannot see it. Lao can see it. Besides your friends don't like him.
Nat: Eh?
Mom: I've been praying about this. I said, I'm tired and I don't want to fight anymore. I prayed for a sign na if he's a good guy then I will be ok na.
That evening while they were in UCC, my best friend came up to them to say hello. They talked at length and after that conversation, the conclusion was-- Her friends don't like him. Thus she feels that this is her sign.
We talked some more but medyo paikot-ikot lang.
Nat: It is so unfair that you are basing your whole opinion of him on that one incident (ie the night he dared to text my mother while pinapagalitan nila ako.. I think it was Dec 2007.)
Mom: Yes. Why not? What else do I have to base it on?
In the end...
Nat: So, where does this leave us?
Mom: I don't know.
To be continued. Kasi di pa talaga tapos yung "talk" namin. I had to stop na kasi sobrang naiinis na ako and it was also going nowhere. I try not to use the word hate arbitrarily because I think it should has a certain weight to it. So believe me when I say that...
I hate it that she thinks she is right and does not even want to THINK about the possibility that I MAY BE RIGHT TOO.
I hate it that she thinks I am being stupid about this.
I hate it that that she has made up her mind and that she thinks the WORST of Jong.
I hate it that she thinks she is right because one of my people agreed/ agrees with her.
I hate it that nothing changes.
I hate it that it still hurts to have this conversation everytime.
I swear, if it weren't three in the morning, I would throw a fit in my room. Actually, I would throw anything. Sigh. I'm hoping that my dreams are of more pleasant things.
Jan 8 2010
I was supposed to tell my mom that Jong and I wanted to settle down na... But I didn't.
She said the more she thinks about it, the more he seems like a manipulator... and I don't even know that I am being manipulated daw. I said, That is based on what you see. On that one night. Don't you consider what I see? Don't you wonder why I decided to stay with him for eight years despite our fighting? 8 years din yon ah. Doesn't that mean that there's something there-- that makes me want to be with him? I also said, The fact that you see him as a manipulator tells me that you think I am being stupid. (She said, no no... and I said, oo kaya!).
Later on she said to me: "If you choose to marry a Filipino, as long as it is anyone but him, I will be amenable. That is how much I HATE him."
I cannot do this anymore. Right now at this moment, iniisip ko na I can't live here anymore. I do not want to be here. I should just get married and go away.
She asked me if we were still going out and I said yes. She starts shaking her head (while still playing the computer game ah). Bits and pieces of our dialogue is written below-- not necessarily verbatim yung ibang parts and not necessarily in order. Take note, there was no yelling at any point and no tears either.
Mom: Why are you still going out with him?
Nat: Because... things are good between us. We're happy together.
(Mom shakes her head again.)
Mom: He is an asshole... he's so full of himself.
Nat: HE IS NOT.
Mom: He is the type of person who feels na when he's right, he has to show that he is right even when it is not appropriate. That he can do what he wants because he feels that he is right. He is just very good at making ligaw. He treats you like a queen and makes you feel so special. And I'm scared of guys like that.
I just don't know why you cannot see it. Lao can see it. Besides your friends don't like him.
Nat: Eh?
Mom: I've been praying about this. I said, I'm tired and I don't want to fight anymore. I prayed for a sign na if he's a good guy then I will be ok na.
That evening while they were in UCC, my best friend came up to them to say hello. They talked at length and after that conversation, the conclusion was-- Her friends don't like him. Thus she feels that this is her sign.
We talked some more but medyo paikot-ikot lang.
Nat: It is so unfair that you are basing your whole opinion of him on that one incident (ie the night he dared to text my mother while pinapagalitan nila ako.. I think it was Dec 2007.)
Mom: Yes. Why not? What else do I have to base it on?
In the end...
Nat: So, where does this leave us?
Mom: I don't know.
To be continued. Kasi di pa talaga tapos yung "talk" namin. I had to stop na kasi sobrang naiinis na ako and it was also going nowhere. I try not to use the word hate arbitrarily because I think it should has a certain weight to it. So believe me when I say that...
I hate it that she thinks she is right and does not even want to THINK about the possibility that I MAY BE RIGHT TOO.
I hate it that she thinks I am being stupid about this.
I hate it that that she has made up her mind and that she thinks the WORST of Jong.
I hate it that she thinks she is right because one of my people agreed/ agrees with her.
I hate it that nothing changes.
I hate it that it still hurts to have this conversation everytime.
I swear, if it weren't three in the morning, I would throw a fit in my room. Actually, I would throw anything. Sigh. I'm hoping that my dreams are of more pleasant things.
Jan 8 2010
I was supposed to tell my mom that Jong and I wanted to settle down na... But I didn't.
She said the more she thinks about it, the more he seems like a manipulator... and I don't even know that I am being manipulated daw. I said, That is based on what you see. On that one night. Don't you consider what I see? Don't you wonder why I decided to stay with him for eight years despite our fighting? 8 years din yon ah. Doesn't that mean that there's something there-- that makes me want to be with him? I also said, The fact that you see him as a manipulator tells me that you think I am being stupid. (She said, no no... and I said, oo kaya!).
Later on she said to me: "If you choose to marry a Filipino, as long as it is anyone but him, I will be amenable. That is how much I HATE him."
I cannot do this anymore. Right now at this moment, iniisip ko na I can't live here anymore. I do not want to be here. I should just get married and go away.
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